Tuesday, July 19, 2011

IVF #1: Feeling Blue and Black

To think that after almost two weeks of injections, I will be ok with it... but no, it hurts more now and I have given up counting my belly bruises. Not sure where to start as the belly is covered in blue and black bruises. How sexy!

Will be going in for bloodwork and U/S tomm with Dr. D and also to collect my Suprefact refills and my stimulation needles. Somehow, I am no longer looking forward to it. I am feeling lost and scared as the time draws near for my impending operation for the egg retrieval.

I have been headache free for 2 days...but the hot flushes are still here...so good and bad. Other side effects I have been having are breakouts on my face. Damn the hormones.

Emotionally I am trying my very best not to break down. But I feel very disturb, very blur and confused, I feel like screaming and crying and deep down inside, I feel I might not be actually prepared for this whole IVF business. And then another part of me thinks this is for another life that we have been wanting for so long. I must not be selfish and think of hubs. So I have been having these monologues frequently these days, sometimes I think I am going crazy.

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