Thursday, November 25, 2010

The One Where I Had Polyps and Endo


I made it out alive from the operating theater! (waves hands in the air jumping up and down) I know very dramatic... try having someone gas you and poke you and burn you and pump air and water into you and God knows what else...before you judge me! :) Yea yea no biggie rite... 

I am so happy I made it through the whole procedure and recovery!

It will be 2 weeks this Friday since I was on the operating table. I spend the last 1 and a half week recovering and am much better now. The 2 key hole incisions my surgeon made in my belly is all healed and all is left is tiny scars. (no I will not get rid of it...reminder that I went to "war").

I am gonna relive the moment of the whole ordeal so I will remember it for life...and I will never wanna go through it ever again! Well it is not that bad, but pre-op period was terrifying for me... the anxiety and the worries on how everything will turn out was basically making me lose sleep and breaking out in cold sweat.

It was a Tuesday when I went to see Dr. D on my 5th day of my cycle and he did scans on me and basically gave me no option. I was to have laproscopy and dye to check the extend of my polyps and endometriosis and to removed them, so that I can double the chance of getting pregnant.

So within 5 mins, I decided with hubs that is the only way to we booked in the operating on that Friday itself... then I found things happening so quickly...and  I was so blur that it did not sink into me that I am about the be operated! I was in an emotional mess from that day till Friday morning!

On the day of op, I woke up at 5am in the morning...I took my coffee, I poo poo, I showered, dressed and admitted myself into the hospital. By then, I was blabbering non stop to hubs and the nurses...asking lots questions and basically being a very annoying bitch. At 8am, the nurse came and shaved my lady bits and dressed me in my op gown... my walk to the operating theater was like a walk of death! But my nurse was the sweetest thing ever, she held my hand and told me everything will be ok...can you imagine

When I was in the prep room at the OT, many nurses there notice I was super scared and anxious... and then came Dr. T my anesthetist, he was one of the nicest doctor I have ever met...he told me he will make inserting my IV needle painless. And he did... he sprayed some freezing stuff on my hand and it went numb and he sang throughout the whole procedure! I am so thankful for him!

After that, I was wheeled into the OT, it was a cold, dim room. Then Dr. D gave me a tour around the OT!! He showed me the operating table, the lights and I was thinking OMG are you serious!!! Then I think about 5 people rolled me on to the operating table and started fixing heart monitors and other gadgets on me... I think my heart rate was beeping off the charts!!!

In the midst of all that Dr. D ask me what I had for dinner, and when I told him I had "Lor Mee" , he and Dr. T broke out in an argument on where the best "Lor Mee" was! At that point I told them that I don't really care literally!! They just laugh at me and told me where I would is my happy place and that I should think of it now as they are gonna "knock"me out... I smiled and told Dr. D, "I am off to Maldives....bye...." (actually according to Dr. D, I did not say bye, I was gone before I could finish the word Maldives..)

By the time I came out, hubs and mom was by my side. But I swear I was in and out of consciousness cause I remember seeing Dr. T and saying bye to him.

Recovery was painful on the 2nd day. I woke up crying and the nurses had to pump me with my pain killers :) I like that feeling :) :) I went home on the 2nd day and basically lying and sitting all day for 1 whole week. 

Mom did a mini confinement for me - food wise and I was not happy when she did not allow me to shower, then I guess she gave up when I told her I cannot take it anymore and I was grumpy and my hair was so greasy!

Neeways, Dr. D told me that he removed my polyps from my uterus and told me I had beginning stage of endometriosis and he settled that for me, and my tubes are looking good. Basically, he did spring cleaning of my womb :) 

The next step is to get pregnant, and he is giving us 3 months window, 1st month natural and if we are not pregnant by then, he is insisting we try IUI. We are hoping it would not get to the IUI stage... *fingers cross*

Thursday, November 11, 2010

The One With The Analysis

In less than 24 hours, I will be on the operating table!

I decided to blog to see if it helps me calm my nerves and anxiety.

A lot of people - family and friends have assured and reassured me over and over again that all will be ok...and I will come out from the OT just fine!

BUT , I am freaking out... firstly, I have NEVER in my life gone for any imagine being out under GA. The thought of it scares me...lets analyse this. 

I am afraid of needles... and they are gonna put needles in me. 

I am afraid that I will be like the movie "AWAKE"...hubs has assured me things like that won't happen...

I am afraid of complications halfway thru the procedures

I am afraid of being alone in the OT with a bunch of mask clad strangers 

I am afraid coz I am not in control of the situation

I am afraid I am gonna cry!! What 31year old woman cries?? 

I am afraid I won't wake up!

Basically, I think I just list down my fear...and it looks pretty trivial ... but to me it is HUGE ass!

Ok, so now let us or rather let me pacify myself a bit.

Needles is nothing...just don't look and I will only feel like fire ant bites. I will not be in an "AWAKE" situation as the anesthetist will be monitoring me the whole time. Complications are minimal...behind all the masked strangers are those who is helping me proceed to the next step of my life - babies - I cannot be in control of all taking a flight... I am in no control of the plane... so I leave my life to the pilot...and in this case, I will leave my life to the surgeons. So what if I cry in the OT before they knock me out... I WILL WAKE UP!!! and probably cry when I see hubs or my mom or anyone...  SO WHAT!!! 

Wow...that did make me feel better....I must not let my fear eat me up... I must face this fear and it will be a beginning of a braver Lynn.

After all, I have the support of so many people who loves me... even strangers!! I must stay positive throughout this whole procedure...

I will blog soon after my BIG day tomorrow!

Till then... xoxo

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

The One Where I Stopped Running

I have been running away from this day...and now, I can no longer run.

The date is set, and I am going in for my overdue laparoscopic and hydroscopic surgery this Friday.

Please pray for me that everything will go well...

I am scared shit.