I have been crying a lot these pass few months. Sometime emotional, some are sad, some are dissapointment, some are self pitiness but tears of joy are still missing. I hope soon I can shed a tear of two of joy.
I started spotting 2 days ago, just a wee bit here and there, took a dip in a cup test yesterday and found it was still a negative. Cried buckets again after the spotting and the negative result. Like I have said over and over again, emotionally very hard to go through hope and being crushed by dissapointment over and over again. I know once again I would have to pick up my heart and move on.
I just took my Beta hCG test and will be returning to the hospital soon to take my results and discuss with Dr. D on our next step - IVF.
It was kinda weird waking up this morning, with no hope and had to draw blood for something I already know just for medical purpose. I did not cry this morning, I am not sure if I will break down later or tonight. I just hope I am strong enough to not let this affect me so much this cycle.
At the moment I am kinda numb.BLANK. Just wanna crawl under the sheets and dissappear.
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