Aunt Flow came and that confirmed that our 3 embabies are really gone. GONE. They will not be babies, just 3 round cells with hubby's and my DNA inside that ceast to exist and will be pass out as my menses, and this sickens me...seriously feel like throwing up thinking about it.
I am still in a state of blurness... this morning hubs caught me staring out the kitchen window with a blank look and dried out tears. He was very worried over me. But he has been wonderful... the day we found out I was not pregnant, he had flowers delivered to me to cheer me up. But honestly, no matter how much flowers he send to me the happy feeling is only temporary.
The menses cramps and flow after IVF to me is extremely painful and heavy comparing to a normal flow. I need my body to return to normal and lose all 4kgs of my IVF weight. I need a break from all the injections and scans and test.
We still have 3 little embabies frozen and we will be doing FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) when I am ready. Maybe in 2-3 months time. And if it does not work again. We have decided for now to stop all medical treatments and move on with our lives.
Just the two of us sounds good enough. Hubs told me he does not want me to go through IVF treatment ever again.... he can't stand to see me in this situation. I thank him for being so understanding and loving. From this IVF, we might not have gotten a baby, it has brought our relationship closer than ever. I am still very blessed for having him.
3 comments:
Hi Lynn, it's Janika here.. Bumped into your blog after a loooong time (last time I read it was when you did the review of the hotel in Tg Bungah).. I read each and every post of yours, some with happy feeling inside, some with tears in my eyes.. I cannot even start to imagine how you must feel like now after all the treatments, I must say you're a really brave woman and I can see you have a really good hubby too, in that sense I'm happy for you :)
I'm sending you ALL the happiness and luck and hope and love in the world Lynn! Hang on (and hope to see you around) :)
i'm so very sorry... it'll be a lie to say 'i know how u feel', but i can relate. u n jack are 2 very wonderful ppl n good things happens to good ppl. maybe not just yet! give it some time and maybe fulfillment will come in another form. all the love from me...
Hi Lynn - was browsing thru the web and saw your blog. Read thru it and you are definitely one very very brave woman and I salute you for doing this !It takes courage and persistence and you should be proud that you have gone this far.
God has HIS ways and I am sure that in life - we gain some and we loose some. Never have regrets in life and remember - your hubby is always there for you ! Hang on there and take good care :)
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