31 Weeks Update

This week's checkup was great...my lil girl has got hair!!! measuring at 1.2cm approx!! Actually don't really care if she has got hair or not inside me but then my MIL was pestering us about it for months, so we ask Dr D to scan for hair. That will keep her happy for a while.

Lil bub is now 1.8kgs and so far I have put on 5kgs in total. Let's pray it will not climb pass 10kgs. But am begining to see that maybe having gestational diabetes is a blessing afterall. I have been watching what I put into my mouth and have been swimming almost everyday.

Up until Wednesday, my feet to starting to swell up and getting pretty numb by the end of the day. So by the end of the day, I don't walk like a human but more like a duck. But am not complaning much as I know I only probably have about 8-10 weeks to meet my lil girl!!

Talking to her everyday to tell her to turn into a good birthing position and to engage well and to help me and Dr D for a smooth and fast delivery! Don't want all the hassle and drama before meeting our lil girl.

I Have Gestational Diabetes - %^&*$%^*$%^*$^&%

So my glucose blood test came back with a positive on gestational diabestes (GD) oh hooray @#%^*^

On Thursday I went in to do a blood test at 8am after a night of fasting and then was given a huge cup, YES a HUGE CUP not a shot glass, of horrible extremely sweet no-words-can - decribe sugar syrup/water/potion to drink. Held my breath and gulp it all down only to find my throat closing up at the end causing a gag reflex. But I finished it! Anyone who is not diabetic that have that will automatically become one! IMHO la....

So I assume I can go eat breakfast coz I was super hungry BUT Noooooo I had to wait two more hours and come back for another blood test to determine my glucose level. %^&$%#* NOTE: a hungry pregnant woman is a monster! Two very grumpy hours later, the lab took my blood and I had to wait another two freaking hours for the result. Two very long hours later, Dr D told me my readings. Before sugar killing water it was 5.5mmol/L after the sugar killing water my glucose level shot up to 10.4mmol/L. For nomal people it shud be below 7.8 mmol/L. So that means I have *drum roll* GD!!!

Immediately, Dr. D wanted me to see a dietician and come back on Saturday for a 4 point blood test. What luck!! ^&*%$^&$&

So off to the dietician I went. I was put on a 15 point carb diet. Meaning in one day I have have 15 servings of 15 grams of carbs. For example, 1 slice of bread = 1 serving of carbs; 1/3 bowl of rice = 1 serving os carbs; 1 medium apple = 1 serving of carbs. Sounds miserable!!

So I manage to fullfill 15 point carb diet and I bought myself a blood glucose monitoring machine thingy. Cut long story short, for the past 2 days which I went on my dietition's diet, my reading was normal and yesterday I went on my normal diet and my reading was normal. then what the hell is wrong??!!

Nope there was no mistakes in lab result nor any monitoring machine. I have GD period. Just need to monitor what I eat and prick myself now and then. Goodbye Haagen Daz, good bye Chatime, good bye Starbucks Ice Chocolate.

On the bright side, my GD was not triggered by my weight, it was mostly due to genetics (thanks to both side of my parents), me being Asian, me having all the hormones shot during my IVF and IUI days, me being a "matured" age. On the down side, as my pregnancy progress, my GD might get worse as my pregnancy progress on.

So here is to healthy eating and praying I will sail through this for another 12 weeks plus minus and have a natural gentle birth to my lil baby girl.

Good things will come to me at the end.... a healthy baby with the birth that I wish for :)

27 1/2 Weeks Update

Birth Plan for Hypnobirthing - big fat stamp of approval from our Dr! YAY!!

Baby girl is 1.1 kgs at 27 half weeks.growing according to specs :) - YAY!

I have put on a total of 5kgs in 27 half weeks. - YAY!

Sugar in urine detected -+2 reading. DAMMIT!!!!! must be all the stupid sugary cravings for the last two weeks. Back for a Glucose Blood Test in two days time.

Discussion of possible preeclampsia coz I look a bit swollen. BOO!!!

Proud of My Bump

I LOVE BEING PREGNANT!

love love LOVE!!

Generally people are nicer to pregnant woman. They hold the lift door for you, they smile more at you, the pull up chairs for you, they open doors for you, they let you jump que to use the toilet, pay for things etc...

Just because you are pregnant, people go all the way out to make you feel comfortable. Even our own JPN ( Jabatan Pendaftaran Negara).

Few weeks ago, I followed the hubs to make his new MyKad and I notice that they have a special number for special people like for the elderly, disabled and me; pregnant women! This special number holds a special power. You don't have to wait like all the other normal people!!!

So, fastforward last week, I decided to go make my new MyKad just saja wanna change to my new address and also just want to shiok sendiri to go press for the "special number". When I was there, I proundly press the E button that only dispense special numbers and I beamed to myself ( funny how small things like that excites me!)

Almost immediately, less than 10 seconds my number was called.... so I slowly walk up to the counter and was greeted by a young man who then we have a very interesting conversation. I dunno who was more embarrased...him or me. It was all in Malay but it went something like that:

Man: Excuse me miss, I think you got the wrong number. This number que is for the elderly, disabled and pregnant women.

Me: Huh? But I am pregnant. 

Man: Are you sure? You don't look pregnant.

*proceed to show him my bump by pulling my blouse tightly on my belly* - I was wearing kinda fitted top - be pround of you bump show it! thats my motto

Me: I am 6 months pregnant. Can't you see??!!!

Man: Oh sorry, please have a sit. You just look a bit fat.

*sheeshhhhhhhhhhh kebabsss*

Me: That is good for me then, I look a bit fat only.

Man : sorry miss, a lot pf people pretend to be pregnant to jump que.

A lot of people actually pretend to be pregnant to jump que??!! what kinda sick people are those? sigh... But then the man was very embarrased and apologetic..hehehe I was shocked, slightly happy coz I dont look like a whale. At least not yet.

So there.... just to share with you guys.... also please go change your MyKad before they make it absolute compulsory and then you will have to que for eternity. Tip: Go after lunch...

3 More Months!

3.5 is the number of kilos I have put on for the last 6 months of my pregnancy. Lil girl is about 800 grams, am not sure how heavy the placenta or the water bag but am not concern as long as baby is growing and doing fine. 3 more months and I have left max of 6.5 kgs to put on. *fingers cross* please be not more than that!

The doctor has put me on a daily swimming routine. He has asked for me to do so to reduce my cramps and to open up my pelvic and reminded me again and again to do my Kegal exercise 3 times a day. That I always forget.

Have been thinking about my birthing plan. At the very begining or since forever, I always told myself I will op be C-Sec delivery. Don't think I can stand the hours of labor pains and contractions and baby coming out from my "vjj". But lately, I have been having different opinion. I have decided to go for all natural delivery that I have actually started reading up about Hypnobirthing. The concept is very simple actually, to birth in a relaxed method, painless, stressless, without the need for medication. Sounds amazing and almost unrealistic!! I mean in society we all associate child birth as the most painful thing a person can ever endure! In Hypnobirthing, it is believe that with fear, our body and muscle tense up, therefore there is resctriction to the movement of muscle and it will cause the pain. Makes perfect sense!

Anyhoo, I actually went and lookup for a support group in Malaysia and guess what??!! I found not only a support group but a certified Hypnobirthing Childbirth Educator! I also bought the book on Hypnobirthing, The Mongan Method and read it from cover to cover and I actually saw a light at the end of the birthing tunnel. Spoke to hubs about it ( he also pro C-Sec) and  he  has actually agreed to go for classes and that is what we will be doing this weekend... 2 days of intensive class.

I have also spoken to my Dr on my rough birthplan on doing Hypnobirthing. I was so afraid that he was agaist it as many doctors in Malaysia and hospitals rather just go with their own plan than to accomodate to the parents to be plans. But we were surprise, Dr. D actually have delivered a baby through Hypnobirthing. And he is all for it, whatever that makes us happy. But he did have a condition that if there happen to be any emergency, he would have to take over. Seems fair enough. So after the classes, we will write up our final birth plan for him to approve. SUPER EXCITED!!!

Almost 24 Weeks

Almost 24 weeks into my pregnancy.* happy dance*

All is well.. we confirmed again during our last visit to the Dr that baby girl is indeed a GIRL... nothing wrong with having a girl...so to all the aunties and KPCs...we dont care if it's a girl or boy... and we are happy just the way we are!

Yup, can sense my annoyance. Everyone has something to say or to "advice" ...what do I do, one ear in another ear out. I don't mind advice and all but some are just amzingly crazy!! If I want advice I will ask. Thank you very MUCH!!!!

So far I have put on 2kgs throughout this 24 weeks and hopefully my next scan next week, I will see a steady weight gain for myself and baby girl. Nothing more than 9-10kgs for my whole pregnancy *fingers cross*

Let see, I have been feeling lil bub moving and kicking and punching and twirling in my womb. She gets excited when she hears her daddy speaks. She wakes me up every morning at 7 ish ...my lil alarm clock. I can't wait to actually see movements from my belly...It will be awesome!

Baby shopping has already started and I have been going crazy... the hubs is also going crazy with me swipping the card! We are waiting to do up the nursery and hopefully by end of March everything is done and I can rest and ready myself for my third trimester and birth in June. Exciting times!!!

Till next entry...here is a pic of me and lil bub at 18 weeks :)

18 Weeks

WE ARE HAVING A GIRL!!!

*happy dance*

dont get me wrong, we would love a boy too but for our first born we i wanted a girl :)

As long as baby is happy safe and healthy I guess we are also bless that way.

We are saying 99% sure of a girl for now... things can grow...lol

Funny story.

While we were doing the scan,  Dr D ask if we wanted girl or boy and we say like what any other parents would say..."oh we don't care as long as the baby is healthy"

Then Dr D told me I have someone to inherit all my bags!!! I was like whoppeee we are having a girl... I gave a OK sigh to the hubs and he was like yippee...

Then Dr D sed wait...I see something... then he went like it could be a boy but there is no two lil thing (balls) but the the a tiny lump inbetween...could be a tiny penis or a puffy clitoris. *slaps head*

The my baby peed!!!! And D D went like yup its a girl! The direction of the pee pee shows that its from a vagina not a penis.

My lil girl sure knows how to make things easy.

So there you go,  a GIRL!!! Hubs heart already belongs to his daughter no doubt about it! I am just super double over the moon.

The rest of the scan went well... after a while she feel asleep from all the fuss. Sure does have her character this one...

I am already in love with her.

12 Weeks

We have finally reach our 12 weeks mark into pregnancy. Everything is looking well at this stage.

Not much drama except for some uncontrollable gagging, pregnancy fatigue, dizziness, peeing non stop and 2 weeks of full on flu.

We went in for our routine check up with Dr D yesterday and lil bub was as excited to greet us. He/She was literally doing jumping jacks in my belly. Scared me a while there and the hubs asked what is that!? Lil bub seems pretty active which I am not complaining at all :)

We are over the moon and keep praying that we will have a safe delivery and a healthy and happy baby.

Life Is Funny That Way

18 OCT 2011

Myself and hubs don't believe in miracles... but a miracle happened to us.

WE ARE PREGNANT!!

No drugs, no IVF, no injections, nothing just au natural.

It would take me 3 months to post this up but I just wanna jot everything down first incase preganancy brains kicks in.

It all happened on 18th October 2011, 3 days after my 32nd birthday. I have been late for two months and I have called my doctor and he suspected that I was preggers... what did I do? I laugh at him! I told him it is not possible.  So on the day of my appointment with Dr. D, I woke up at 6am (before my morning hike) and in a state of drowziness I peed on a stick. Before the urine could reach the test window, I already saw the positive line! Talk about something which took me years to see and it was happening in front on me!!!

I yelled so loud to hubs and switched on every single light in the room and I was shaking mad...hubs was just numb for a second and he hugged me and tears all around.... we did it!! we effing did it!!!

That morning we went to Dr D and lots of yadda yadda...me not having my period, might have PCOS, suspect preggers...we just kept hush about our positive test...until he announced he was gonna do an internal ultrasound on me and that is when hubs freaked and spill the beans! But no biggie, we still did the internal scan.

It was the most painless scan ever! As our little "kuaci" pop up on the monitor! We got a confirmation that I was 4 weeks in my preganancy and OMG the nurses was so excited and so was Dr. D and hubs and me... I was laying on there with my legs spread open and 5 pairs of eyes were glued on the monitor looking at our blob. It was amazing. Has not sunk in me yet but still amazing that we manage to come this far.

We decided not to tell anyone yet as 4 weeks is really not that stable...anything could happen....so we only told my parents and my in laws. All gave us a reaction that we were telling a big fat lie! LOL! My mom practically went "you must be joookiiiingggggggg??!!"

At this point, I am having symptoms like super tender breast, peeing all the time, tired/sleepy, bloating like mad, dizzy spells.

We are praying hard that everything goes well and we get to hear the heartbeats in Week 6.

xoxo

32 and 5

I turned 32 last weekend! and celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary!

So what if we don't have kids.

Being a D.I.N.K .is pretty awesome.

*D.I.N.K = Double Income with No Kids *wink*

The Case Of The Missing Eggs : Revisited

Aunt Flo is late for 5 days. Highly suspect I missed ovulation yet again! No eggs released to the uterus??

Gonna give it another week and if Aunt Flo does not show up, its Dr D's office.

How to get pregnant naturally like that?

This sucks ass.

Reflecting In Hua Hin

It's September already??!!

Bangkok and Hua Hin for the last one week was a blessing. It did clear my mind a lot and I am thankful for the trip. Gave me a lot of me time to reflect.

Being back in Penang again and seeing the evidence of my IVF was a bit heartbreaking but not as bad as what I used to feel. I guess it will always have a scar.

I am OK. sore, but OK

Post IVF #1

Time flies..it has been one week since we found out that we were not pregnant. And it has been a tough week. Thank goodness I have a great support system...family, friends and strangers. I can't thank them enough!

I admit, I still break down when I am alone. Hubs talks sense into  me everyday when he sees me about to succumb to tears. I guess this kinda grief takes time to heal. So I am not gonna lie to myself and say I am 100% ok... I am not, but I will be. I still feel the pinch when friends and family announce their preganancy or post up baby pictures. Yes I am sore.

I kept myself busy this one week by working and by planning a mini getaway to Hua Hin. So by the end of this week for the Raya break, hubs and I will be back in Bangkok and then make our way to Hua Hin for a few days. I do not know if it will make me feel better but I for sure knows that I need to get away from everyone for a while.

IVF #1 : It's All Over

Aunt Flow came and that confirmed that our 3 embabies are really gone. GONE. They will not be babies, just 3 round cells with hubby's and my DNA inside that ceast to exist and will be pass out as my menses, and this sickens me...seriously feel like throwing up thinking about it.

I am still in a state of blurness... this morning hubs caught me staring out the kitchen window with a blank look and dried out tears. He was very worried over me. But he has been wonderful... the day we found out I was not pregnant, he had flowers delivered to me to cheer me up. But honestly, no matter how much flowers he send to me the happy feeling is only temporary.

The menses cramps and flow after IVF to me is extremely painful and heavy comparing to a normal flow. I need my body to return to normal and lose all  4kgs of my IVF weight. I need a break from all the injections and scans and test.

We still have 3 little embabies frozen and we will be doing FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) when I am ready. Maybe in 2-3 months time. And if it does not work again. We have decided for now to stop all medical treatments and move on with our lives.

 Just the two of us sounds good enough. Hubs told me he does not want me to go through IVF treatment ever again.... he can't stand to see me in this situation. I thank him for being so understanding and loving. From this IVF, we might not have gotten a baby, it has brought our relationship closer than ever. I am still very blessed for having him.

IVF #1 : It's A Negative

The little embabies of ours did not stick.

We lost them. For good.

Dr. D was upset. Everything we did was perfect. Still we are back at square one. Back at the beginning.

I cannot begin to explain how I feel. 

I broke down hard...really hard when I received the news and after almost 24 hours or crying and not being able to sleep properly, now my eyes and face is swollen.

Today I have decided to return to my office and immerse myself at work. Did help a bit...so far so good...no breaking down...no tears...just a achy pain in my heart.

Pictures of babies make me sick right now....I know that sounds awful but it does. It makes me sick and make me all teary.

 

Life is cruel that way.

IVF #1 : We Have Embabies!

Now I am back home serving my bed rest after the embryo transfer. It went really well except my ovaries are swollen as I have mild OHSS and slight UTI due to holding my blader while the procedure was performed . Out of the 10 fertilised eggs we manage to have 6 little embabies :) all Grade 4 and Grade 3, which is satisfactory...so we transferred 3 little ones and froze the other 3.

And now we wait.....

Dear embabies


Please be good and stick to mummy properly and grow.


Love,
Mummy n Daddy.

IVF #1 : Retrieval

Two days leading up to my retrieval, I was in pain, I could not walk, I was so bloated, my back ache like hell.

On the day of my retrieval, I was so happy. I could not take the pain in my ovaries anymore. My retrieval was at 9am and I was in the OT by 8am. Once again I find myself full of fear but I know this needed to be done. Nurse J gave me a numbing jab on my bum and I was on my way to highness. When I was finally wheeled into the OT, Dr.D prep my IV and then I was given my sedation. The thing with sedation, I was not 100%knocked out. I was drifting in and out. What I remembered was during the last few minutes, I guess the drugs must have slightly wear off, I could feel a very sharp pain in my lower abdomen, it must be the needles sucking out my eggs. When I woke up, I was already at the recovery bay... My embryologist told me they had manage to retrieve 13 follicles as scanned and there was 12 eggs and only 10 was matured. So we had 10 eggs. Not a lot but enough.

Hubs took care of me the whole night after that and when I was fully awake, I was no longer bloated and no pain...ok maybe I was popping too many pain killers.

The next step was to see how many embryos was fertilised and my mild OHSS to go away and the transfer

IVF #1 : Eggies

This month is all about eggs. And I have 13 of egg follicles as of this morning! 13!!

 Am very pleased with my ovaries :) Apparently nothing is wrong with my left ovary which we were worried about not responding to the drugs.  The left ovary happened to produce 7 egg follicles and the right ovary 6 egg follicles. The biggest follicle measured at 15mm and the smallest at 9.5mm, and Dr D is happy with the numbers. He sent me home with two more days of injections and going in on Saturday for another scan to see the progress. Hopefully *fingers cross* we will see some of the laggards chasing up and some of the frontliners growing big and strong.

I am also told by Dr D to consume a min of 3 egg whites a day or more to keep OHSS at bay. Not a problem...anything to reduce the risk is fine by me.

So, if by Saturday, the egg follicles would have reach min 18mm then it will be trigger time and my egg retrieval surgery would be on Monday and if all goes well and we have good grade embryos, then embryo transfer would be next Wednesday.

Suddenly everything is happening so fast! Feelings? Happy, excited and scared shit at the same time. At the current moment, I am somewhat uncomfortable, I have ovaries pain and my belly is super bloated! Feels like exploding!!

IVF #1 : Poke Here and Here.

Have already started with my ovaries stimulation injections last Friday after my E2 level came back at 145. So its 225iu of Gonal F for  6 days and then its back to the clinic to see if my ovaries are responding to the drugs. And if they are, we should be able to see the eggies growing!!

Today is day 4 of my Gonal F and I am still having my Suprefact shots every single day!. So its two jabs a day! *rolls eyes* Still hurt like a bitch, but accepting it as always. I can't be chicken shit... take a deep breath and POKE away! By the way, hubs is finding it difficult to find a spot on my tummy to inject. Seems like I am running low on tummy real estate.

So far after the Gonal F, I am feeling some "activities" going down there on both side of my tummy. It kinda feels like mild cramps. I am happy for it, coz it is a sign that the Gonal F is working! The follicles with eggs inside are growing....

I will most probably go in for my egg retrieval next week. (that is a different emo state post )

Praying that everything will go smooth from now till my scan on Wednesday...

Grow EGGIES GROW!!!!!!

I leave you with a picture of my every morning anxiety

Last Durians Of The Season

Penang well known for food. And also DURIANS!!

Dad happens to own a fruit orchard and it is only open once a year to family and friends to enjoy durians, rambutans, manggis and other tropical fruits. But durians are the main attraction. Dad's durians fruit only once a year and is totally organic and no chemical whatesoever... can be said that it is "wild".

So every year during June to July hubs will get very excited. And once a year I will smell his durian burp.

 I am ok with durians, not a fanatic like some people. (refer to the man above)

I am more into rambutans and manggis also known as mangosteen :)

Thank God, the durian season is over... smell you next year