In less than 24 hours, I will be on the operating table!
I decided to blog to see if it helps me calm my nerves and anxiety.
A lot of people - family and friends have assured and reassured me over and over again that all will be ok...and I will come out from the OT just fine!
BUT , I am freaking out... firstly, I have NEVER in my life gone for any surgery...NEVER...so imagine being out under GA. The thought of it scares me...lets analyse this.
I am afraid of needles... and they are gonna put needles in me.
I am afraid that I will be like the movie "AWAKE"...hubs has assured me things like that won't happen...
I am afraid of complications halfway thru the procedures
I am afraid of being alone in the OT with a bunch of mask clad strangers
I am afraid coz I am not in control of the situation
I am afraid I am gonna cry!! What 31year old woman cries??
I am afraid I won't wake up!
Basically, I think I just list down my fear...and it looks pretty trivial ... but to me it is HUGE ass!
Ok, so now let us or rather let me pacify myself a bit.
Needles is nothing...just don't look and I will only feel like fire ant bites. I will not be in an "AWAKE" situation as the anesthetist will be monitoring me the whole time. Complications are minimal...behind all the masked strangers are those who is helping me proceed to the next step of my life - babies - I cannot be in control of all situation...like taking a flight... I am in no control of the plane... so I leave my life to the pilot...and in this case, I will leave my life to the surgeons. So what if I cry in the OT before they knock me out... I WILL WAKE UP!!! and probably cry when I see hubs or my mom or anyone... SO WHAT!!!
Wow...that did make me feel better....I must not let my fear eat me up... I must face this fear and it will be a beginning of a braver Lynn.
After all, I have the support of so many people who loves me... even strangers!! I must stay positive throughout this whole procedure...
I will blog soon after my BIG day tomorrow!
Till then... xoxo
1 comment:
Dear Lynn
No worries dear friend, you are brave in your heart and soul. Family, Love One, Friends and God are looking over you on this.
Things works is some way where in life we go through and becaome so what much better stonger bolder and happy.
Wishing you all the best and take care ya.
Sincerely yours
Tammy
Post a Comment